Its 11pm, and im feeling inspired to blog, about nothing much in particular actually. I just wanted to yadda yadda. I cant sleep right now, even though i have work bright and early tomorrow. B is fast asleep and im wide awake. It could be the numerous margaritas i had tonight keeping me up but that cant be it as grog usually makes me sleepy.
Summer came and went so fast i didnt even batt an eyelid, or could it be that we just had a really long spring that merged with autumn and we were left with nothing but half assed semi warm half assed cold days? anyways its fkn cold. Sunny but cold. Iapos;ve been sick for three weeks in a row and just as i was getting it...i woke up sick again, i musta gave it to B and he musta given it back to me. My house must be filled with germs
The criteria at work for hiring someone is that they must among other things have a talent or passion. God knows what bullshit i fed them in the interview , but i somehow got the job. Anyways, ive been thinking of all the passions, interests and hobbies ive started, lost interest in and stopped. Ive summed up my top four to be snowboarding, food, photography and golf. I still try to do a little of each in some way or another but ive lost that passion and drive that was almost obsessive at some stage for each of them.
have i lost my way, do i not love those hobbies as much as i think? I think not. Boarding i can only do so much per year. Photography...my slr doesnt fit in my back pocket and its to0 costly with the developing (yes im still old school SLR). Golf...my clubs are in oz (lame excuse) not to mention its fkn cold in the UK. Try walking around for 4 hours in 6 degrees for a golf fix and food...i still eat it i still cook it... But im to0 tight to buy all the go0d cooking utensils and pots and pans because i dont want to ship it all home later on (i cant thorw anything away = hoarder) My life and existance has become a half assed effort because, at the back of my mind...theres always... The thoguht of london isnt forever...but if it isnt forever...and ive been here almost 3 years..and i have no plans to go home any time soon...then what is it? Its the interim, thats for sure. But should i scumge on quality and standard of living and a normal life because of the unknown?
DO i live like london is forever and do as i would in oz? or am i just wasitng time and money cos inevitabily i will be going home anyway?
Arghh stoppid grog...too much thinking...
Iapos;ll continue these thoughts on another drunken stuper night...
I miss golf.... I miss the driving range the pink and purples hues as the sun sets against the 250 marker which i could never hit... Ahhh sharkies... I miss you
p.s just a thought....is looking at the stars all that romantic anymore? I havent seen stars in 3 years stoopid london fog
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